carolina.

good song.

anyways..there is so much going on in my life right now that i dont know if i could possibly attain it all. I can..but can my heart?
every time i see her walk into my work..i wanna say something..but i cant. i hold back. ill never have that person back in my life..seeing her apply was hardest i think..knowing if she gets the job..what i will have to deal with. pretty tough..maybe it is a sign to be strong.on other news, im having a tough time with friendships..i am not sure how to keep some..im not sure how to communicate in some..im not sure how to grow in some..i feel like im spinning in circles in some friendships..some friendships i really need to have...but i just cant keep it up..some i want to give up and say screw it..i really wish that i could somehow attain it but i cant. work has me exhausted..and so does school..i have to go running at 5:30 in the mornings now so that i can get in better shape for soccer..i feel really upset lately..and im not sure why..maybe im just trying too hard..idk..i feel like i take some things too seriously that i shouldnt..im learning to be stronger..im learning not to back down..so im just gooing to keep doing what i have been..i liked mine and brittanys conversation today.."how cool would it be to be in a fight and just lasting it out?" oh man..i love hanging out with her.tonight was pretty hard tho.just realizing where i am in life..i dont like it..but we all go through this. thats enough for a night. good night.